A question I am asked rather frequently has to do with ambition. Not long ago an email dealing with retirement and purpose landed in the inbox. The reader had yet to start her retirement. She was still a few years away but had a solid financial game plan and a hobby that engaged her. Her marriage had recdently ended, but she remained friends with her ex-spouse. Her relationship with their adult children was good. Yet, something was bothering her enough to ask for my thoughts.
The concern was simply this: does having ambition end when work ends? Does the striving for some type of achievement or distinction and the willingness to work toward it stop with the last paycheck? I could tell from her question that her definition of ambition is a traditional one, rooted in the concept of power, wealth, or recognition. She was really asking if striving toward more was soon to be over.I assured the reader that wanting more, working toward more, and hoping for more didn't stop with retirement. In fact, the desire for more actually intensifies. What changes is the definition of ambition and the meaning of more.
During my radio consulting career my ambition was pretty fearsome. I wanted to be a major figure in my industry. I was willing to travel 100,000 miles a year, be away from home for almost half of each year, take on more business than I could comfortably handle, and strive for more.
While my ambition was adequately fed for several years, eventually things started to fall apart. It took the closing of my business and a few painful years of readjustment to understand the type of ambition I was seeking was ultimately unsatisfying. It was based on the totally false assumption that there is never enough, in the bank, in the garage, in the size of the house, or in the influence over others.
Retirement allows for a completely different meaning of ambition. Being ambitious is about the quality of one's life, the fullness of relationships, and the satisfying feeling one gets when volunteering to help others. It is about the desire to live each moment as fully as possible. It is about the opportunity to discover a side of one's personality or talents that was always there, just waiting for the chance to burst forth. It is about more joy, more freedom, more acceptance, not less.
I assured the lady of all of this.... and received no response. Maybe my answer was so profound I erased all her mental doubts. Maybe she decided I had no ambition myself and was trying to sell the concept of becoming a sloth. Or, maybe, she is still thinking about the notion of being ambitious with a whole different range of experiences and payoff. Whatever her thoughts were, I am glad she asked the question. It gave me the chance to clarify my own ideas and motivations.
Retirement allows for a completely different meaning of ambition. Being ambitious is about the quality of one's life, the fullness of relationships, and the satisfying feeling one gets when volunteering to help others. It is about the desire to live each moment as fully as possible. It is about the opportunity to discover a side of one's personality or talents that was always there, just waiting for the chance to burst forth. It is about more joy, more freedom, more acceptance, not less.
I assured the lady of all of this.... and received no response. Maybe my answer was so profound I erased all her mental doubts. Maybe she decided I had no ambition myself and was trying to sell the concept of becoming a sloth. Or, maybe, she is still thinking about the notion of being ambitious with a whole different range of experiences and payoff. Whatever her thoughts were, I am glad she asked the question. It gave me the chance to clarify my own ideas and motivations.
The ambition I experienced during my working years helped build the foundation that has allowed for over twenty years of a very satisfying retirement. However, it came with costs that cannot be forgotten. Through a reordering of priorities, the damage has been mostly undone. Because I now understand ambition in an entirely different light, I can welcome it whenever it blesses my day with fresh energy and optimism without harming relationships or my own mental balance.
Purpose, dreams, aims...different words for ambition. Yet, they all contain the spark that makes retirement so special.
I never thought about ambition in retirement but of course I have things I want to do. In retirement I have hiked the Bruce Trail end to end (900km/500miles), climbed mountains and the Parthenon in Athens. There are things I still want to do but it sure doesn't feel anything like the effort I had to put out during my "ambitious" working years.
ReplyDeleteOf course some people define themselves by their work and perhaps like the "older than I am" current and previous U.S. Presidents maybe that kind of ambition for power, wealth, or recognition never stops for some. I know at this stage in my life I wouldn't want the responsibility for the nation/world on my shoulders (not that I ever did).
As we mature (sounds better than getting old), hopefully we gain new perspectives on what is important and what belongs in our past.
DeleteI needed some of ambition when I was earning a living and growing a business. But it was out of control amd had an outsized hold on my life choices.
I sensed a shift in my ambition as I moved into what will likely be the final years of my life experience. I found, as you did, that my ambition was largely tied to my work life. And most of my "goals" were also linked to my career.
ReplyDeleteI now find the sense of "ambition" has fallen away, and my "goals" have morphed into a desire for experiences. The interest in major projects or travel in retirement is gradually leaving me, in favor of seeking more of the pleasures of home, my friends and family, my books, my music, my garden, walks in nature... simple things and small pleasures.
I do honor the ambitious guy I once was, for it was his ambition that allowed me to find success in my career and provide the financial means to enjoy my retirement--but he can rest now.
I think that whatever happens from now on, it will be enough.
Rick in Oregon
You have summarized my feelings very well. If my life ended tomorrow, I would have been satisfied with the journey. There is nothing important left undine. Moving forward it is icing on the cake.
DeleteAchievement is a fundamental need that never goes away for the "growth oriented" retiree. Same thing for recognition, contribution and significance. Our work used to feed these needs and after retiring we need to new ways to satisfy them or we are not going to be very happy. I found after retiring there was a shift in my values. Money, title and status was no longer important to me. My focus changed from the pursuit of more money and the acquisition of more stuff to the pursuit of rich experiences and meaningful relationships. Life is so much better now!
ReplyDeleteAmbition transforms in personal achievement, and that is not measured in money, status, or material gains.
DeleteIt makes us more plesant to be around, too!
I am enamored of "late bloomers" and blog about them recurringly. Kicking back and chilling in retirement is fine, but there's a line in "Annie Hall" that's apropos. Woody Allen's character says, "I don't respond well to mellow, if you know what I mean. If I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot."
ReplyDeleteI think there is a huge difference between chlling at times and stepping back completely from life. As you know, retirement is really about blooming in fresh and exciting ways.
DeleteBob, I'm still amazed by how every one of your articles hits the nail on the head for us out here! I'm turning 74 this Monday with six years since my retirement from TV show production and any ambition and interests I formerly had are all gone. I do love playing pickleball and thankful I'm able. But, other than reading your blogs and watching various YouTubes, I'm challenged to discover new, compelling things of fascination. It's neat to read the entries from other "Lowry Loyals" since it appears we all have much in common. Thanks for what you do for us.
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome, Bruce. Retirement really is a (hopefully) decades long search for new experiences and finding new sides to yourself. I do get into periods when I feel in a rut, but those times don't last very long. Something stimulates me to take a bit of a risk.
DeleteI think the age at retirement can heavily influence one's ambition in retirement. Retiring in the fifties/early sixties is entirely different from retiring in one's seventies.
ReplyDeleteI think you are quite right. I retired at 52 and struggled for a few years to find what would motivate me. But, my most creative time seems to have been in the last ten years or so, early 60's onward.
DeleteDuring our working years, I think the majority of our ambition is focused on our careers. When we transition into retirement, our ambition becomes focused on the more personal aspects of our lives. About a year ago, in an AARP article called, "Live Longer, Stronger and Better," the author suggested keeping a "No Regrets" checklist. Make a list of all the things you ever wanted to do or accomplish but had to put off due to work commitments or raising a family. Then work out a plan to re-vist the items on your list. I fully embrace this concept. The checklist is an excellent tool that can ease the transition between working and not working, enrich your life with activities that had been and are still important to you and provide a way to ride the wave of ambition and accomplishment that might shrivel up and die if not nurtured. This was yet another thought-provoking post, Bob - nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a "No Regrets" checklist...certainly more positive than a bucket list! I have just added that to my idea file. Who knows, it may be a good subject for a post.
DeleteThanks, Mary. I hope you and Alan are doing well.
Bob, if you're ever contemplating the topic of regret, consider reading "The Power of Regret" by Daniel Pink. He did some intriguing research on the subject.
DeleteWhen I had a career it was mostly about security for me and my children; I was a single mom for ten years. Now that I'm retired I can do whatever I want within physical limitations. I would never have guessed I'd be volunteering at refugee camps and asylum seekers' shelters. Or volunteering at a medical clinic. Or living in a small place in Arizona in the winter, and a small place in Washington State in the summer. I'm free to pursue whatever engages me and draws me in. Such freedom!
ReplyDeleteFreedom from most "have-tos" and freedom to explore what engages you equals a satisfying retirement. Your experiences prove the point.
DeleteBob, great topic, and certainly one that speaks to me personally. In my career, I was very ambitious and driven. Like the woman who wrote to you, I had trouble making the decision to retire because I had such a powerful need for achievement that I couldn’t imagine who I would be without it. It seemed to me that life would be pointless if I didn’t have goals to strive toward. Fortunately, I was able to ease into retirement by “keeping my hand in” academia for a number of years. Finally, that drive to continue achieving in my field has left me now, although for the first couple of years of retirement, I kept looking for a new set of goals to refocus my ambition on — perhaps through developing an art career or a career as a writer, or becoming very involved in the environmental movement. But gradually I became aware that I was tired of striving so intensely all my life and I no longer want to work really hard anymore. So, although I still do art, write, and volunteer, I am doing it for joy in the moment, and to contribute in a helpful way. It is a relief to no longer be so driven, and a happy surprise to discover that there is life after ambition ends.
ReplyDeleteJude
Sorry it took me a few days to see your comment sitting in the waiting box.
DeleteYou and I sound like we were cut from the same cloth. I was quite driven and had a hard time not being the star of my own show.
Retirement had been life changing for all the right reasons.