I have no idea what my expiration date is. Unlike a carton of milk, there is no visible stamp somewhere on my body that tells me I am best used by a specific point on the calendar. And, frankly, I don't want to know. I would rather continue to live as if the rules of mortality don't apply to Robert Lowry. After all, it has worked so far.
OK, a little flippant about a serious concern of all of us. Among all living animals, fish, plants, and viruses, humans are the only ones cursed with an awareness of death at some point. There will come a moment when we are no more. While the other 7 billion people will continue on quite nicely, the idea of me no longer occupying space is not the easiest to accept. Won't there at least be a solar eclipse or something to mark my disappearance?
Nope, unless the two events just happen to coincide. There will be some sad, upset people. Stories of my life will become exaggerated over the years and then slowly disappear forever. The space I occupy will be filled in by time, both physically and mentally.
So, how do we accept this inevitability without going crazy? How do we avoid falling into a deep depression knowing what we know? In my opinion, answering this question is one of the most important we face during the aging process. How we approach this reality will make all the difference in the quality of our life moving forward.
To many, the answer lies in their belief system. All major faiths have some concept of what happens after our physical death. Whether there is an afterlife, resurrection, reincarnation, the Hindu samara, or a period of time after death until judgment day (Akhirah in the Islam faith), humans look for reassurance that this life is not all there is.
Others take the position these spiritual beliefs are nothing more than the human desire to impart lasting significance to our existence. We can't face death if we think only of "dust to dust." So, we have invented ways to make the end not really the end. Atheists and Agnostics are among those who reject the happy ending: death is death, done and gone.
Like most human beings I want to believe there is something after this life ends. Since childhood, I have been part of a belief system that preaches that everything great really happens after death on this earth. In the meantime we are to fight the good fight, accepting our failings and doing our best to adhere to the behavior that God wants.
A few years ago I began to involve myself in a serious examination of what I believed and why. I studied what various texts and sources say and what they mean to someone alive in the 21st century.
What are the core messages in books, like the Bible, that were written when people still believed the earth was flat, heaven was a literal place just above the sky, and the sun rotated around our planet? Was there anything important behind the words that no longer made any logical sense in today's world?
The short answer for me is yes. Books like the Bible are written by human beings attempting to describe something that is indescribable in human terms. The myths, stories, and miracles are the only language the authors had to put their feelings into words. As is often said, if we can perfectly describe a God, then he/she/it isn't much of a God. A force that formed the ever-expanding universe is beyond our limited capabilities to put all of that into words.
That being said, what about my mortality? What happens to Bob when Bob is no longer breathing?
The nice thing about what I am about to write is I will have no idea whether I am right or wrong until it happens. And, if I am wrong, I will be dead and unable to admit my mistake since the me who wrote it will have ceased to exist.
I believe an overall spiritual force or energy formed the universe. There are simply too many moving pieces that must all interact in precisely the way they do for everything in every galaxy to have happened by chance.
I believe that spiritual force, and I am OK with the word, God, is infused into everything in the universe. Humans, dogs, plants, trees, the ocean...you name it, and there is something from the creator in each. Certain religions would think of it as the Holy Spirit and I am fine with that as a human way to describe what I am attempting to describe.
I believe that this spark of ultimate energy does not disappear upon my death. The fact that energy can neither be created nor destroyed - only converted from one form of energy to another, is what allows me to hold to this premise.
Now, what does that mean for the unique creation that is me? Do I come back in a different form, do I reunite with lost relatives in something we call heaven, does my body reform but without pain, suffering, or male pattern baldness? I have no idea. But, to believe that I am so irreplaceable that my death only sends the whole of me to a different plane of existence, strikes me as seriously egotistical.
I believe that the essence that is part of my being will not be relegated to the dump, but reabsorbed back into the universal, eternal force that formed everything. I don't have a clue how that "essence" or spirit or soul is used or manifests itself from that point on. And, I don't need to speculate because that is all it would be, a wild guess. I know that my perception of what happens next gives me great comfort. It allows me to go about every day I am still here with energy, happiness, and a desire to contribute.
Believe me, I am in no rush to find out if I am correct. But, my mortality does not have a terrifying, fearful hold on me. True, I may be kidding myself. If so, the good news is I will never know.
Powerful post, Bob. I don't know if you have read anything by Francis Collins, who was the leader of the DNA research team, but he believes much the same as you and I do. He has written several popular books on this subject.
ReplyDeleteThanks, RJ. This post forced me to think rather deeply about my beliefs and how to put them into words.it is a tricky subject but one too easily ignored.
DeleteBTW, at your suggestion I read the book by the Delany Sisters: fascinating and ultimately encouraging.
Thanks for the thoughtful post.
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome
DeleteMy parents each lived their lives to the end, even through their cancer deaths (we kept them each at home). Although death is unwelcome, I learned that death can come with grace and acceptance. In Mom's final days she said "don't be angry about what you can't do. Be grateful for what you CAN do. I was just 46yo. I remember those words nearly every day.
ReplyDeleteI believe in God and his Grace. I believe in the eternal life he offers. I know that not everyone does but it gives me comfort as it did each of my parents.
I would have a much rougher time accepting aging if I didn't believe something of me extends beyond my physical time on earth. Exactly what form that takes is beyond my understanding, so I turn to my faith.
DeleteBob,
ReplyDeleteWe have seem to have some overlap in our perspectives…
I could write a long missive about how I have come to “figure it all out,” but it would cause most peoples eyes to glaze over… so I won’t. As someone grounded in science, it has been an interesting road to explore the spiritual and existential.
But, ever since an experience when I was 9 or 10 years old, alone in an open farm field across the road from my house I have been on a quest. On that summer evening adventure, when the sun had just set in the west, the stars were starting to break out and I was watching a fox scamper across the grass in the distance, I was suddenly overcome with the sense that “I am here…now…I exist…” And I instantly was overcome by the realization that my existence, and that of others can only be described as “weird.” We are all “here,” and yet have different personalities, perceptions, likes, dislikes, etc… What was it all about? Both of my grandfathers had died in the same year when I was five years old, so I had confronted the reality of death early in life… and it was on my mind. My 16 years of Lutheran church attendance did little to provide answers I could embrace. My subsequent science education and career further distanced me from those doctrines.
My lifelong obsession with the topic, along with my relatively recent senior/retired status has given me the gift of time, contemplation—a chance to read extensively in the religious, philosophical and neuroscience literature, and I have come into a theory—that “consciousness” is fundamental. Consciousness is considered the “hard problem” by my neuroscience colleagues. They cannot yet explain it and most still consider it a persistent, and perhaps unsolvable mystery. Many particle physicists have ventured into the territory, including the Nobel laureate, Max Planck:
“I regard consciousness as fundamental. I regard matter as derivative from consciousness. We cannot get behind consciousness. Everything that we talk about, everything that we regard as existing, postulates consciousness.”
So here is my existential take in a nutshell: The universe is grounded in consciousness which informs and creates everything we see and know. We have come out of the earth as biological beings through which consciousness flows. Our biology modifies consciousness to create the illusion of personality and separateness, but we in fact are all an expression of the one…. or what some might call God. This theory has allowed me to explain the apparent randomness and unfairness of life, along with many other life mysteries and paradoxes. Upon our death I believe we will flow back into the sea of consciousness, perhaps to other experiences and adventures.
I respect the religious/philosophical interpretation of the experience of others, although mine has always required me to keep one foot firmly planted in science. Ultimately, we are all here to figure things out. Voluntarily, or otherwise. I am reminded of the plaque over the entrance to the psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung’s home: “Bidden or Not Bidden God is Present.”
Great topic!
Rick in Oregon
And, great explanation, Rick.
DeleteAs I am quick to explain to anyone who asks, none of us has the answers to these critical questions. We each latch onto what makes sense to us and satisfies the need for some stability in our existence.
I do not pass judgment on what someone else believes since I am quite sure I am as much in the dark as they are.
Like you Bob, I find it hard to comprehend "nothing" after death though there is little other than faith to suggest anything else. I guess I am waiting to be surprised when I get there or if not then I'll never know.
ReplyDeleteI think our immortality is through our children, grandchildren, and descendants as yet unknown just as I am for the roughly 5,000 generations that came before me.
In a way I kind of like the Mexican tradition that there are two deaths. One when you die and another when no one remembers you anymore. It's unlikely I will live long enough to see any great grandchildren (I am closing in on 70 and my oldest grandchild is just 7) and after my grandchildren go perhaps that will be my second death. If so all the more reason to create lasting memories with them now.
The Mexican tradition is as good as any in helping us understand what lies ahead. Memories can live on well after us. It behooves us to do all we can to make those memories positive and comforting ones.
DeleteOf course, with resources like Ancestry.com, I can look back at relatives hundreds of years ago, so maybe memories and traces of us last longer than we think.
One of my favorite Bob posts ever. So much so that I can't even cover all the things I like about it without writing a comment longer than the post. So I will just say thank you for talking honestly about a topic we would all do well to normalize in our thinking and conversation. Not in a morbid or fearful way, but in a way to lessen the fear by weaving it into our lives as a normal and inevitable part of our life cycle. Also loved the post title -- reminds me of one of my favorite book titles -- "Death, the End of Self Improvement."
ReplyDeleteYou praise means the world to me, Galen. This post has been germinating awhile. This is a sensitive subject. It was very important I not come across as judgmental of others. This is a very personal, individual area that requires some thought and research.
DeleteThe title came to me before the text. I loved the title, so I had to write what logically followed!
Titles often come to me first. In fact, you might not know that the title of my first blog/book "10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place (and Staying There) came to me before I had any idea what the 10 steps were! Seems like titles often guide my thinking and writing.
DeleteHi Bob! I agree with Galen that your post addresses something that I think so many of us would do well to contemplate. It doesn't really matter what the details are, just that our ponderings fulfill our need to be at peace with the inevitable. I read one time something that Aristotle (may or may not have) said about death when asked what would happen when he died. He answered that he though it would go one of two ways. One he would just go into a deep long sleep and frankly he thought he could really use a deep long sleep. The other is he would wake up to a brand new adventure. I like the thought of both of them although something about the reincarnation idea has always captured my imagination. As you say, the only ones who know for sure aren't here to answer our questions. Good for you for sharing your thoughts about a subject that touches us all. ~Kathy
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kathy. This is like politics or sex: it is a subject that provokes strong opinions and emotions.
DeleteNo matter what an individual believes will happen, it is really guesswork on everyone's part. Yet, I believe it is vital to come to some conclusions, some belief about what lies ahead so we can turn our focus to the here and now.
I agree with your assessment 90% or so. And I love the topic and anything to do with cosmology and the whys and how’s of why there is anything at all.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been thinking more about death as I get closer to it. My more immediate fear is avoiding a nursing home at ALL costs.
But the dread, in a way, of feeling you will simply cease to exist for all time can be very daunting. But it think it’s our ego at work. I always think of people born 500 years ago now, are all forgotten and all traces gone.
I lean heavily toward atheism, but also realize it maybe some mystery we are not capable of comprehending and may never know even if there is some consciousness continuation. It won’t be us kind of thing.
A life well lived builds upon the lives that came before us and forms a foundation for those who come after us. Without the efforts and presence of those alive 500 years ago, our life today would be very diffetent.
DeleteIf we think of ourselves as one of the steps of humankind, we can rest easier. We are standing on what came before us and providing a leg up for those who come after us.
Mankind's finite brains are unable to comprehend the infinite. What if that which religions call God is actually DNA. Our DNA is the Collective Unconscious Jung wrote on, it carries everything which happened to our ancestors, tribes and humankind from the moment they crawled out of the primordial swamp.
ReplyDeleteMankind can't comprehend or describe the infinite with finite awareness.
DeleteThanks, Jack.
I like this alot
DeleteI don't know what happens in a metaphysical sense with death. As much as I engage in life, I'm glad to know that there is an end. I believe there are worse things than death. What happens to my spirit/soul after the last breath, I don't know. I trust that I will surrender to that great transition whether it's to "nothing" or a great do-over.
ReplyDeleteA lingering, debilitating illness, a vegetative state, constant pain....at this point death seems like a pleasant alternative.
DeleteOr, a life full of opportunities to learn, love, and make a difference that is spent worrying about the end.
Yes, you are right. There are plenty of things worse than death.
As the kids say, you win the internet with this one, Bob. I really love this post and the conversation in the comments. Given my age and strict religious upbringing, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I would say I've come to a similar place to the one you describe. There are many things that seem incompatible to me in the training I received about God, the afterlife, etc. I suppose it's normal to think more about death as we get closer to it. But also, once I started to examine what I really thought, it is a fascinating topic to me. And no one really knows, so the possibilities are wide open.
ReplyDeleteLike Mona, I think there are worse things than death. I love the Mexican tradition of two deaths. And I particularly enjoyed reading the perspective of Rick in Oregon.
Thanks for a great discussion. Your blog is always interesting.
Thanks, Hope.I probably would have avoided the topic if I wasn't convinced it would generate thoughtful comments.
DeleteToo much of the Internet has turned into a swamp of hateful speech and illogical rants. Maybe I am just lucky, but that has never been a problem here. Adults discussing important issues with respect and civility is so important in today's hyper-partisan environment.
I would have have stopped writing a long time ago without the support and interaction of intelligent caring folks like you.
An engaging post that speaks to all of us. The readers’ responses are based on much searching and scholarship. I find it interesting that the "hereafter", the "afterlife", seem to be so benign and, at best, positive.
ReplyDeleteMy own journey has led to a belief in a heaven and a hell. Such a departure from my college years spent in the study of cultural anthropology and comparative religions. I was ultimately seeking a degree in archeology to advance my interest in culture as a study of mankind’s evolving societal adaptations and advancements. Ahhh…sweet youth!
Life intervened and I found myself, through marriage, children, family, and friends, on a completely different trajectory, a one-eighty of sorts. My actual life experiences, once out of the ivory tower, led my path towards a more traditional faith. From the perspective of age, I still chuckle and marvel at how I arrived here. I do know that I am thankful, extremely so. The peace and hope is palpable. Especially in these current times. In my mind and heart, I have not left one lofty tower for another. My studies do continue and, like your other readers, I find confirmation in the world around me.
Thank you for this platform and for this topic. It prodded me to more clearly see and more clearly articulate my growing faith in God.
I am so grateful you have taken the time to comment and provided your take on the subject.
DeleteI completely respect your journey and the road you have traveled. It is bringing you comfort and satisfaction, which is what we all seek.
Trying to understand the infinite is a lifelong trek. Ultimately, the best we can hope for is something to believe in to have our private journey make sense.
Your description is pretty close to mine, Bob. At this point I'm pretty sure there is something, but I have no idea what it is.
DeleteI have no idea either, but the journey has been fascinating
DeleteOne of the challenges of aging is coming to terms with our own mortality. On my own journey, I am inspired by the belief that I am part of the great circle of life and the understanding that all my molecules will be recycled into other life forms after my death.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are on the same page. Being part of every energy source makes so much sense to me.
DeleteWe liquidated most equities high because we did not know how much we would need to build our house and move. We had become dissatisfied with our advisor and needed a fresh start. We currently have 15% in regular equities, 5% in “intelligent equities” 10% in I bonds ( currently running a 6 month 7% rate). The rest is just sitting in smaller cds and a paid for new build. I chuckle that our credit card makes more then our sitting money. I am in the market for a new place to dollar cost average.
ReplyDeleteWe use way less then our income at this point. We are struggling with the thought of buying something big. Hitting 70 brings reality of mortality, right. I feel comfortable with having enough to make it “to the end”. Janette
Many folks worry about running out of money but that rarely happens. Unless a catastrophic event wipes out a big chunk of savings and investments, the vast majority will end their lives with money still in the till. That is the comforting reality.
Delete