I am bored and feeling stale.
Considering my posts for the last several years that is a sentence you probably didn't expect to read on this blog. I preach the importance of staying active and involved, in trying new things, discovering new passions, and making the most of the amazing freedom that retirement provides.
Up until rather recently that would have been accurate for me. But, not right now. I figured I owed you an honest look at a satisfying retirement that occasionally finds itself down a dead end street. My life has been quite blessed, but it is not a fairy tale or a movie with a perpetually happy ending.
I am feeling unhappy with where I live, how I live, and what I am doing with my time. As I quickly told Betty when I mentioned my funk to her, it has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. That remains as solid as can be; I am very much in love with my wife and family.
No, my dissatisfaction is strictly with me and my lifestyle at the moment. There has been no precipitating event or action. There wasn't a switch that was suddenly thrown and I woke up living a unsatisfying retirement. It is just a feeling that has been building for at least a month.
I am spending too much time reading. I take too many naps during the day. I watch too much Netflix at night to fill the time until bedtime. I realize these are some classic early warning signs of clinical depression, but that isn't it. I am not depressed, I am just without a focus, a spark, or something that really excites me. And, I don't seem to know where to turn to ignite the fire.
An example? I am planning all of our itinerary for our RV trip in July - not because it really has to all happen 7 months ahead of time, but because it gives me something to do. That isn't good.
So, what am I going to do about all this? I haven't a clue. I am stuck in neutral with no clear route forward. I have no doubt I will figure things out. At some point something will click and I will have a full plate again.
But, for now, not so much.