A Way To Live More Fully

What follows is a guest post from author Boyd Lemon. His most recent book, Retirement: A Memoir and Guide, is an insightful and interesting look at one man's attempt to achieve a satisfying retirement. I'm pleased to share some of his thoughts on an important topic: living fully by living in the moment.

A Way to Live More Fully: Being Present

By Boyd Lemon

            One of the advantages and joys of retirement is the time to figure out some things that you just couldn’t focus on when you were working full time.  Figure out how to live more fully. One way is to “be present” or “live in the moment” as much as possible.  When you are present you notice and find joy in the beauty around you that you never noticed before. It really works, but you have to make the effort because most of us have spent years out of the present, worrying about the future, planning, or reminiscing about the past.

Being present means focusing on what is in front of you at the moment.  The first time I was aware of another person who was “being present” was while talking with a woman I had recently met. There was conversation all around her, and her attention was not on me. I asked her a question. She turned to look at me and answered the question fully, which took several minutes. During that time she continued looking straight at me, concentrating totally on what she was saying and my reaction. Weeks later, I was eating dinner with a friend and noticed how she focused on chewing and the taste of the food, and did not converse much during the meal. When either of us talked, she stopped eating and was “present” for the conversation. Without trying, these people taught me what “being present” is.

The more we practice being present, the less frequently our minds will wander back to the past or forward to the future.  I practice observing everything around me wherever I am—just being. I practice when I am doing mundane, everyday tasks. When I brush my teeth, rather than daydream or think about what I am going to do that day, I focus my attention fully on brushing my teeth, noticing exactly where I am brushing, what it feels like, what it tastes and smells like and the sound that it makes. When I do the dishes, I try to concentrate totally on that, rather than daydream about something. When I walk on the beach, unless the purpose of my walk is to think about something, I try not to think of anything except what I see, hear and smell on the beach. What a difference from when I used to walk on the beach and afterwards barely remember the walk! Being present is experiencing life; anything else is less.

Living in the moment 100 percent of the time, even if possible, would invite disaster for all but cloistered monks. Sometimes, it is necessary to plan future activities or desirable to think about what we have learned in the past in order to solve present problems or avoid present threats to our well being, but clinging sentimentally to the unending stream of items that have flowed through our lives detracts from living.

Here are some techniques I use to bring myself back to the present when my mind wanders.

• Use my senses to focus on what’s right in front of me. I look at what’s in front of me now. I listen to the sounds around me, and touch something near me that is appropriate to touch, and notice how it feels.

• Focus on my breathing. I take a couple of dozen deep breaths and focus my mind on inhaling and exhaling, as in meditation. This brings me back to the present moment.

• Focus on my body. I try to feel the energy inside my body. One way to do this is to focus on my hand, to notice how my hand feels and how the energy flows through it.

• Practice when I travel. Practicing being present is often fruitful when I travel because I am often seeing things for the first time. It is easier to focus on something new, and not as difficult to keep my mind from wandering.

• See things as for the first time. This can be useful when I have a hard time just observing my surroundings. I try to look at things as if I were observing them for the first time, like a child who has never experienced this before. Sometimes it feels really nice. I have watched my grandchildren. Young children live in the present. It comes naturally to them.  Most of us lose that ability during the pressures of adult life.  Retirement offers the opportunity to retrieve it.

*Boyd Lemon-Author of Retirement: A Memoir and Guide; Eat, Walk, Write: An American Senior’s Year of Adventure in Paris and Tuscany; Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages; and 4 other books. Information, reviews and excerpts: http://www.BoydLemon-Writer.com.  Amazon Author Page: http://www.Amazon.com/author/boydlemon.


Satisfying Retirement received no compensation for this guest post or its promotional value.