It would be a very rare person who doesn't want to be remembered after he or she is gone. As we age we understand how short life really is and that there are few opportunities for do-overs.
I have one life. What am I making of it? How would I like to be remembered? Do I know what I would like to leave behind for others? These are questions that all humans ask themselves at some point. We have a very basic need to believe we have made a difference. A legacy is just that: something that can be pointed to that confirms you were here and you mattered. A satisfying retirement is great, but a strong legacy is something really worth striving for.
There are two basic types of legacies. The first involves tangible accomplishments. If you are an artist that's easy. Your paintings, sculptures or photographs will hang on a museum wall or grace people's homes for years into the future. If you are a singer, actor, or writer you will live on in your music, performances, or words.
Maybe your financial status is such that you can create an on-going scholarship at a favorite school or an endowment at the university you attended. You might be able to donate enough money to help fund on-going research into a serious disease. Maybe you established a volunteer organization that continues to help people for years into the future.
For someone who is handy with tools, maybe you built a vacation cabin in the woods, or a canoe that cuts gracefully through the water. Your family and relatives can enjoy what you made and think of you whenever they do.
The second type of legacy is the intangible kind. You have instilled a set of moral and ethical values in your children. You have treated loved ones in such a way that when people remember you those memories are full of joy and fondness.
You have demonstrated through your life the importance of giving back to others, of leaving your little corner of the world just a bit better for you having been here. You have modeled a life worth living and are remembered by your actions, big and small, your beliefs, and your steadfastness. Years after you are gone, someone will mention your name and there will be a smile, or a fond memory, or a confirmation of how you spent your life's time. Maybe there will be the ultimate compliment when someone declares he would like to be like you were.
While both types of legacies have tremendous value, I think most of us have a better shot at creating a life worth remembering when we focus on the intangible characteristics. The good news: it is not too late to start. The bad news: too many of us never start.
The goal of a legacy can't be selfish. If so, it probably won't be very long-lasting. Even the person who donates $5 million to establish a scholarship fund is doing it because she believes her money can benefit more people if she uses it in this way. Will her name be associated with something good? Sure. But, that is not the primary motivator.
If you are remembered for teaching your children how to be responsible, caring, loving parents to their kids your legacy is worthwhile. If you instill a sense of civic responsibility in a child who goes on to help others for the rest of her life, you have created a legacy that is worthwhile.
Maybe your legacy is the guy who always smiled, who was always there to help someone when he was down, who loved others unconditionally. Maybe you were the first to volunteer whenever your church needed help. You couldn't take off 2 years to join the Peace Corps so you always helped restock the food bank at an inner-city school. You were confined to a wheelchair after an accident. But, instead of being bitter and withdrawn you remained positive and upbeat. You affirmed that there were others in much worse shape than you.
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Exciting news: Betty and I will be featured in a national magazine in October. The story will be about folks who despite all the bad economic times are still enjoying a satisfying retirement. More details shortly.
I am intrigued by the thought process this evoked for me...which is always a good thing to have happen.
ReplyDeleteHere, to a degree, is where I stumble a bit: If our work today is focused on what will be remembered in the future, than our work today is not focused on today, but in the future. And the work done today may not be as "heart-felt" or true to ourselves, again-and maybe subconsciously-our actions are dictated on what will may happen when we are gone.
Acting now, in the present, in the way we choose, may determine our legacy, but should not be the focus of our actions. Here, today, right now, what I do is most important. I have no control over what any single person will remember or how they will feel about what I've done.
I will always strive to act in a loving and compassion way, here-today, so the next moment that follows can be acted upon in the best manner. Beyond that, there is little I can do.
Hi Dean,
ReplyDeleteYour point is an excellent one and I agree with it totally. Maybe the post wasn't entirely clear in this regard, but if you do something just to build a legacy or to be remembered, that isn't likely to work.
The example you quoted of attempting to act in a loving and compassionate way today and each moment thereafter is what will result in a meaningful legacy.
The examples of helping mold children who are ethical and moral and care about others is a legacy that lives on in those kids. You can't create that legacy on your own, you can only create the environment that allows it to occur.
One point you raise that I could have stressed is that we really can't create a legacy on our own. We can only live a life that allows those that follow to point to our existence as one that was worth living.
The idea of leaving your corner of the world better for your being there is really a cumulative effect.
Can't wait to see the spread in October!
ReplyDeleteSyd,
ReplyDeleteA 4 person crew is arriving Wednesday morning for a 4-5 hour photo shoot. They are even bringing in clothing and accessories for us. Quite a production!
I understand the magazine will be on the stands by mid September...a much quicker turn around than magazines used to operate on. I guess the pressure of the Internet.
Interestingly, Wednesday is supposed to be 113 degrees but because the issue is for October we must dress in fall clothes and colors!
What a thought provoking question! It made me want to go to several people who know me and ask them, "What will you remember me for?" I wonder if their answers would match up to my own imagined legacy! Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteGalen,
ReplyDeleteI'm not brave enough to ask that question! I know what I hope to be remembered for, but I won't be around to check up on the real answers. Maybe it is better that way.
All I can do is my best now and the let the rest of it happen. But, it is a question that we should ask ourselves and see if we are comfortable with what we hope is the response.
Fill us in on the "spread"....
ReplyDeleteLegacy? My grandfather was a great businessman- and was remember for about 30 years after his death. Only those who grew up in the Valley in the 50s still know his name....but his legacy was showing his grandchildren that you can rise from nothing and make something.
My legacy- I am praying that I will be remembered the same way that my kids put on my bumper sticker...."Nana's car. Don't bother us- we are having an adventure!"
JBO,
ReplyDeleteThe spread: Money magazine is doing a story on my wife and me and our Satisfying Retirement lifestyle. The four person photo team was at our home for 4 hours this morning. It was exciting, and tiring. I haven't smiled that much since our wedding. The issue is due on store shelves by the middle of September.
"Having an adventure!" Isn't that what an exciting life is all about!
Fantastic! ~Janette
ReplyDeleteI have to be honest. I don't think about that because I don't have expectations. I live, and that's it. I do what I think is positive and good, but somehow, legacy seems like wanting "recognition" and I honestly don't care if someone says, Sonia was a great mother, grandma, blogger, or anything else. Perhaps I'm not understanding the concept fully. Maybe things will change as I get older. Who knows?
ReplyDeleteSonia,
ReplyDeleteLegacy is a "heavy" word that tends to imply a fitting memorial to someone. I do believe all of us want to be remembered in some form. To believe that when we die there is no mark or indication we even existed would be a depressing thought.
Maybe a better way to think of it would be will a few people have been affected in a positive way by my existence? Will my time on earth have been a net positive for others?
Probably most of us won't do something "great" that will be remembered by the masses after we're gone, but we can make a huge difference in the way we live our lives. How we live serves as a model for others, younger people in particular. That continues for generations after we're gone.
ReplyDeleteWe shouldn't even wait until retirement to begin modeling positive behaviors--kindness, charity and personal responsibility are just a few. Personal responsibility is huge in a world where so many are modeling something so different.
On a tangible level, being in a position to help others financially can be a legacy. Helping someone to survive a lifethreatening illness or helping a young person through college are examples. Many young families aren't in a position to do this, and help from a retired person would be remembered for a long time I suspect.
It'll take some planning being in a position to be able to help in this way, but retirement often affords the time and resouces to make it happen.
Kevin,
ReplyDeleteThanks for being part of the discussion. Your comment, "Personal responsibility is huge in a world where so many are modeling something so different" is very much on target.
A mentor role is one that I urge on everyone, too. Younger people learn from watching the actions of their elders. Strive to make that example a positive one.
My parents did a fabulous job of investing and teaching me some of things that allowed my wife to retire at 47 and me at 52. Their estate will eventually be a big help to their three sons. That will be part of their legacy: not the money but the planning and sacrifice that make the financial gift possible.