Depending on the web site, blog, or book I look at simple living can mean many different things, depending on who is doing the defining. It could mean getting rid of most of my belongings and keeping only the bare essentials, all while living in 200 square feet of housing. It can also mean having all the modern conveniences, but only buying what I need, not what I want.
Am I living simply if I eliminate meat from my diet and only buy from a farmer's market so most of my food isn't shipped to me from 1500 miles away? Am I part of the movement if I set my thermostat at 85 during a Phoenix summer and buy all my clothes at a thrift store? Can I also be considered living simply if I keep the house temperature at 76 but have invested in super-efficient windows and insulation so that I am using less energy than before? Or, maybe simple living may be nothing more than a mental condition of being more in tune with the natural world and avoiding our consumptive society.
See why I am confused?
To simplify all this (pun intended), here is what living a simple life means to me. Then, I ask you to add your thoughts, opinions, and interpretations. I think I have determined that living simply is not so simple because there are no firm "rules." Each of us takes what works best for us, adds a few ideas or new thoughts from someone else, and builds a satisfying retirement lifestyle that makes us happy. So, here goes.
I own my possessions and not the other way around
I have never been someone who likes to acquire things. I dislike shopping unless I have a specific need that a particular purchase will satisfy, like new sneakers or a few new plants for the pots on the porch. The idea of shopping for fun doesn't compute. I love movies but I don't purchase DVDs when the library or Netflix or Hulu lets me see them for free or for pennies each.
However, I will invest in a new DVD player that allows me to stream movies because that simplifies my life. I will buy a new car when it is easier to do so than continually patch and repair an old clunker. But, in each of these cases my purchase fills a specific need. I don't buy the latest gadget because it is available. I don't turn in my older car just to have a newer model. I attempt to make sure my choices dictated by a need, not a want. It doesn't happen always, but more than it used to.
That being said, we continue to own two cars. Could we get by with one? Yes. But my wife sees the second car as an important symbol of freedom. If she has a meeting, lunch with friends, or an errand to run she "needs" to know she doesn't have to coordinate with my schedule or arrange to be picked up by friends or dropped off by her husband. For her, that second car is a part of her simpler life. Her definition of livingly simply is valid and important to her. The second car stays.
I have no problem getting rid of clothes I don't wear often enough to keep, books I have read but am not likely to read again, and knick-knacks that no longer are interesting or important. I don't get a thrill from having an empty closet or a bookshelf devoid of books. Emptiness just for the sake of emptiness isn't the motivator. But, I see no reason to maintain something that no longer serves a purpose.
Importantly, if I give away 5 shirts I haven't worn in a few years I don't have any urge to replace all five. Like most guys I know, I wear the same handful of shirts, T-shirts, shorts and jeans over and over. I would be perfectly content to have just those items in my closet. Is that simple living?
In a post on her blog from December 2009 Laura Weldon said it well, "Studies have repeatedly found that the more a person focuses on the accumulation and ownership of stuff the less happy they are. They are more likely to suffer from depression, narcissism, low self-esteem, antisocial behavior and substance abuse. They’re also more likely to have health problems including headaches, backaches and digestive disorders."
It is best if my living space is orderly and uncluttered
I require neatness. My wife will tell you I am somewhat compulsive in this regard. I don't line up all my pencils on my desk, but I am physically uncomfortable around clutter. I will go so far as to write something on a to-do list just so I can cross it off (does that sound a bit odd?) Having less stuff lying around makes it easier to be neat. Frankly, over time I have gotten better about tolerating some messiness. I have come to appreciate things that are a better use of my energy and worry than everything always being in its place. Still, a messy environment and I are not close friends.
My idea of entertainment has simplified
I eliminated cable TV several months ago. I dropped both daily newspapers and at least half a dozen magazine subscriptions. This freed up several hours a day for other activities that are more productive and pleasing to me. I love to read and have given myself permission to spend a few hours each day doing just that.
Rare are the nights we go to a symphony or concert. The cost in both money and time are higher than the value they impart to us. My wife and I love movies but almost never go to one in the evening. Movies at night cost 50% more than matinées. During the day parking is easier and theaters are less crowded. It is just simpler to go before 6 PM.
A day spent with the family at a picnic or the zoo beats almost any other entertainment choice. Doesn't get much simpler than that.
My time is worth more to me than it used to be
That means I attempt to eliminate things that I view as a waste of time. As you know from an earlier post, cooking for me is not a sport, or a way to relax. It is a task to be completed as quickly as possible to provide fuel to my body. Leftovers are actually preferred because it means I can spend an extra 30 minutes on the sofa with my wife watching a movie.
To conclude, I like this quote from Frances Mayes, author of Every Day in Tuscany: "Since a large percentage of control over fate doesn't exist, how to go forward? Cultivate interior life as though it were a garden sanctuary. Give away what you can. Squander your love."
That sounds like a simple life to me. How about you?
Related Posts
JBO said...
ReplyDeleteAt this point- one year into retirement- I have no clue what a simple life means to me. Hopefully, I will figure it out next year:>)
Hi JBO,
ReplyDeleteMaybe simple living is a constantly evolving definition based on time and place. I don't know but I keep working on it!
Interesting you should write about this topic as I had a discussion with someone about a simple life and I said, "Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite when I buy an expensive anti-wrinkle face cream and then I say it's important to live a simple life." She pointed out to me that there's a difference between a simple life and a frugal life. Perhaps we're confusing the two. I hadn't thought of that until she pointed this out to me. What do you and your readers think about this?
ReplyDeleteHi Sonia,
ReplyDeleteI agree. A frugal lifestyle and simple lifestyle can be complementary but aren't the same thing. I can be living a simple life but have a 60" flat screen TV. Frugality might involve much more work and complication in my life to spend as little money as possible.
I wonder how many people avoid living a simpler life because they think that means they must re-use tea bags!
Interesting topic after just having spent the weekend with someone who lives a much more complicated life than mine. I was struck by (1) how much simpler my life is, and (2) how much I like it that way!
ReplyDeleteCould my life be even simpler? Oh yes. I especially related to your aversion to clutter. I am determined to go through my house room by room and do some deep purging and reorganizing.
And like you, I'm willing to pay for some things that might be more spendy but in the big picture save me time or money, or just bring me enough pleasure to justify the cost. As Gutsy Living pointed out in the above comment, there is a difference between a simple life and a frugal life. And there is also minimalism, which might overlap with the concept of simple, but has its own connotations as well.
As you say, simple will mean different things to different people. I'm sure to some, my life seems unbearably complex. But for me, it is simple because my outer life is manageable and pleasurable, and my inner life is content and present.
Great post and comments. I will come back to see what other commenters add to the discussion.
Love this post Bob - the subject is always timely. Simple to me means less stuff than I have time to enjoy it or maintain it. While I can't pare away all obligations I try to keep them from interfering with what I love to do - travel, writing and of course relaxing. Am I there yet - no - am I sure how exactly to get there - still working on it!
ReplyDeleteHi Galen,
ReplyDeleteYes, minimalism is yet another way of living one's life. As I understand it minimalism generally means living with the absolute minimum of possession possible. I assume it could also mean having a minimal effect on the environment through what one purchases or consumes.
To me a minimalist life would not be simple: too many compromises over what makes me happy.
Simple living also has a lot to do with being over-committed to yourself and others...that might be another post!
Ryshia,
ReplyDeleteSimplifying what detracts from a satisfying life (retired or not) is always a work in progress isn't it? The world has a way of demanding more from us than is best for a life in balance.
Thanks for the kind words!
Bob,
ReplyDeleteGreat question. In our household, my wife's belief that I am a closet hoarder and will fill every open space with clutter if left unconstrained make sure that excess things are eliminated. I like the idea of having more than I need - but not too much more. Anyway, I don't like the effort that a beautifully simple life requires because when you find out that you went overboard, it's expensive to replace the good stuff you through away.
Hi Ralph,
ReplyDeleteIn your case you have figured out what simple living means for you. While I'm not 100% sure I understand your system, I will defend to the death your right to follow it!
BTW, I had to give up half of my off-season clothes closet to my wife because I got rid of much more than she did.
Simpliying, minimizing, frugalism, downsizing or simple living are to me all branches of the same tree called doing more with less. As we move further into our retirement or semi-retirement, new stage, lifestyle or what ever you wish to call having less income, being happier with less things.
ReplyDeleteMany of these terms are labels that people use to market their lifestyle and/or products and services (courses).
Personally, I just believe that doing more with less is the direction that many of us are heading and we are each doing it our own way and at our own pace.
Which is the way it should be, after all we are all individuals and have different needs/wants than someone else.
Harold
Good morning, Harold,
ReplyDeleteWell said. Doing more with less is a result of several factors: the economy, the government's problems, a growing awareness of the earth's limitations, and an increased understanding that materialism does not equal happiness.
Whatever the label, I think we are all better off adjusting to a better balance between needs and wants.
"'Tis a puzzlement" Our life seems cluttered, but I also see that as a sign of our diverse and dynamic existence. I have 5 pairs of "hiking" boots....and each one is for a different purpose(light hiking to glacier mountaineering) I have 4 bikes....commuting, touring, racing and off road. And so it goes!!! It has taken me decades to develop my array of "tools" and I'm still using each one of them. They make my life simple, because I have JUST THE RIGHT THING when I need it. There is no right formula, and things are constantly evolving. For now, I'll tolerate a little bit of clutter to support all the things we love to do!
ReplyDeleteDr. Keith
Hi Dr. Keith,
ReplyDeleteI love the wide range of comments so far. They prove the point that simple living is not easy to define because it is different for everyone.
Having a wall full of tools, but each having a purpose and each being used is completely in tune with simple living. You know what you need and where to find it instantly...no wasted time and effort.
That is simple living, too.
To me, simple living means living a life less complicated. Living in a slower paced environment and untethered from commitments. Moving from New York City (very complicated) to a rural, farm-like environment meant living a more simple lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteIn the move I eliminated everything I no longer needed nor wanted. I only have what I want now, which is all that I need.
Simple. Plain. Uncomplicated. Easy. As little stress as possible.
Hi Morrison,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful sunset photo the other day on your blog, by the way!
"I eliminated everything I no longer needed or wanted. I only have what i want now, which is all I need."
Couldn't say it any better.
The family is grown, out of the house, and they are making their own money. Grandkids are not on the visible horizon. Aging parents are still living independently. It's a great place for my wife and I to be: Empty Nesters.
ReplyDeleteWe also live simply. I'm going to define this in a little different way: We often find the greatest peace and satisfaction from our time spent went it is simply time spent together. Just the two of us. We like each other that much.
Sorry for being late to this post and writing this comment. Interesting and important topic here
..
Hello QwkDrw,
ReplyDeleteNo apologies needed. You are never late when you visit!
Like your definition a lot. I would agree in our household, too: time spent quietly together is hard to beat for simple pleasure.
I'm just dipping my toes into living simply... From the reading I've been doing, I like the approach where you focus on those things that are important to you and remain mindful of them when purchasing items, using your (limited) time, basically in your daily life. What's important to a person changes from person to person and within a single person's life as well, so I definitely agree that it's fluid. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and providing inspiration!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteSimple living does seem to be ever-changing and fluid depending on where your life is taking you at the moment. It is good that something like this isn't forced into a rigid description that allows for only one interpretation.
Dr. Keith made a good point in his earlier comment. He has assembled a large collection of tools, but each has a specific function and allows him to complete a project in the shortest time possible because he isn't trying to figure which tool might do the job. Simple living for him means a wall full of tools and his interpretation is exactly correct.
You keep dipping your toe into living simply. That's a great way to get wet!