Here is how Dave ended that article: "I like Bob’s final comment and will borrow it as the close of this discussion: Your retirement will be like a blank canvas. You’ll buy all the paints and brushes but will have no idea what it will look like until you start applying the paint.”
At least for my experience, that seems like as valid a metaphor as any. We all begin our time after full time work unsure of what is going to happen. Sure, we made plans. Obviously, we have ideas about what a satisfying retirement will look like. We collect opinions from friends and family. We probably have read a few books. Hopefully, this blog has provided some helpful hints. But, here is an important point: none of us know what is going to develop until we start the journey.
To continue with the painting metaphor, the idea that our retirement begins like a blank canvas may be a new thought to you. Maybe you are convinced you have it all figured out. Step A will be followed by Step B. This will happen, and then the next thing on your retirement to-do list will occur.
Can I burst your bubble just a bit? Rarely does it work that way. Life has a nasty habit of messing with our plans. Things completely out of our control suddenly pop up in the path ahead of us. You are not going to know what your life really looks like until you are into it. Let's pick up a brush and see what happens.
At the center of the blank canvas put a few blobs of color, maybe a swirl or two, and a solid center. That represents the core of your retirement. That center is what you are depending upon to make this all work. Let that solid core stand for your financial base, your health insurance, housing, your key relationships, and your essential beliefs. Without that solid center, frankly, you probably don't have much of a chance at a satisfying retirement. The color swirls, bright blobs and dashes of color represent your initial experiences as you build a new lifestyle. There will be a sense of breaking free, of fewer boundaries. You will begin to appreciate the vivid colors that can become part of your day.
Then, as you add paint to the next portion of the canvas, realism becomes evident. Things are a bit more structured. You may feel free, but there is a world around you that has rules and regulations. You have relationships to maintain. Your health won't always be great. That investment you counted on suddenly looks more like a disposable paper cup. This part of the painting isn't as pretty or uplifting as the center, but it will be on your canvas.
The corners of the canvas may contain more bright colors or shapes you don't quite recognize. This is the part of your retirement where you are exploring new parts of yourself. You are trying on new hobbies or living patterns. Maybe you decide to simplify and downsize. or, maybe you decide to jump in an RV and explore the country for a year. A creative outlet you didn't realize you had begins to assert itself. The core at the center of the painting is still there. The harsher parts of reality don't disappear. But, on the outer edges of the canvas you are adding the stuff that makes your life exciting, rewarding, and uniquely yours.
Now stop for a moment at look at the canvas. That is what your life is now. What do you notice right away? There is still a lot of open space left. The canvas is still more than half empty. Why? Because every single day you have the chance to add something to your life. If you approach retirement as an adventure that is open to additions and recreations, the canvas will never be finished. Just like a good artist, you believe you can always add a dash here or a blob there to improve the painting, and your life.
What do you think? Can you visualize your retired life as a painting that continues to evolve? Maybe you think of a satisfying retirement as a piece of music that is always having notes added or subtracted, chords changed, or new instruments written in. No matter how you envision your retirement, I have one request: don't think of it as a checkbook. Finances are important but too many of us allow the financial side of things to scare or stifle our growth. Your retired life will be so much fuller if you avoid that trap.
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You know, a few months ago I would have agreed with you but today I am coming to see retirement as a very controlled activity. Not just putting a little paint here and there and seeing what happens. That is more or less how I handled my career and the result was mediocrity. Mediocrity is fine and it is probably the way most people want to live (although they prefer to call it average). Great artists don't just wing it. They work their paintings out before hand. The greatness comes from a good plan (and a vision of what they are creating). Certainly circumstances cause you to change things so you always need to adjust.
ReplyDeleteLike the Cheshire Car told Alice. "If you don't care where you are going, any path will do."
Well said Bob. The other thing about the painting of our lives is we cannot go back and erase something that has already been painted. The experience, how we chose to spend our time, how we impacted those around us is part of the canvas of our life. We need to do our best to paint it right the first time around...
ReplyDeleteRalph,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the different perspective. I'd agree that most painters have a plan and execute it. I think the difference with a life is other factors and people hold a greater influence than they do over a pinter making a piece of art. That's why a satisfying retirement experience is always open to adjustments and additions. You are not able to control all variables or outcomes so you must adjust. A perfect plan will be changed by circumstances.
Dave,
To an extent you are right. Changing what got you where you are is not going to happen. But, my wife, the artist, tells me that changing a painting is simple. You cover the part you want to do over with something called gesso (like a white primer) and re-paint it.
Can we do part of our life like that....paint over a style of living or an activity that once suited us well, but now does not?
I lived down the street from an old man. One day we sat and he told me of his retirement. He had helped a son create a company-and worked the books. He had turned his over ranched land into pasture for the wild game. He had Sunday brunches at his house- first for his friends and later for his children. He had been in plays, written a children's book, built furniture, worked the library,counseled at the homeless shelter, dusted at the museum, argued at city council meetings.
ReplyDeleteHe told me that at any stage he wasn't sure that his retirement was a good one- but as he looked back he was happy with his constant change. He died peacefully at 99 - and the funeral was HUGE!
I'm on the changing canvas side of retirement. Don't over think it. Be open and it will be a good one.
I love the story of the man's life...so full and varied. He never allowed himself to be limited by previous experiences. His canvas would have overflowed with vibrant colors and shapes. His approach was inspirational. Thank you very much for sharing, Janette.
ReplyDeleteHi Bob. Reminds me of the following in one of my favorite books: "As long as a person who must jump with a parachute does not jump out into the void, he cannot feel that the chords of the parachute will support him, because the parachute has not yet had the chance to open." (From Searching for Maintaining Peace by Father Jacques Philippe).
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying your sharing and those of the comments, and learning things every day.
Thanks, J,
ReplyDeleteThe quote fits nicely with the post. I'm not familiar with Father Philippe but with certainly check out his work. Thanks for pointing me in his direction.
When I was a kid, I became interested in oil painting and I dinked with it for a couple of years. More often than I would have admitted at the time, I became dissatisfied with my creation in progress. So using an oily rag I’d aggressively wipe down the canvas. Sure, it would end up smeared with color. But it was still a very usable canvas which I would then simply paint over. Yep, I see a strong analogy to retirement. Each of us can change whatever we're doing... with or without an oily rag. Bill
ReplyDeleteNice, Bill.
ReplyDeleteIt is OK to paint over the parts we don't like anymore. Just like oil on canvas, our life is changing. There are parts that are permanent and parts that aren't. I guess knowledge is knowing the difference.
What a great metaphor. I think this metaphor applies equally well to life before retirement! I really like your emphasis on the core and all that you included there. I also love the idea of exploring new parts of oneself and considering retirement as an adventure rather than a done deal. Thanks for this wonderful inspiration and creative view.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sandra.
ReplyDeleteThe core of the painting is like doing pilates for the body. If the core of either isn't strong, the rest with eventually collapse.
You are right, this metaphor can apply at any stage of one's life. So, grab a brush!