Video Connections: Are You Interested?

Maybe I'm just a little slow to notice the obvious, but I just downloaded Skype last week. I know a lot of folks use it to make free phone calls to other Skype-equipped friends and family anywhere in the country or world.  But, since my family lives here and any friends we call are easily reached by cellphone the whole phone-call-over-Internet thing didn't seem important to me.

Then I had an e-mail back-and-forth exchange with blogging friend, Galen Pearl. We discussed things we could do to stay fresh with our blogging activities. Suddenly, I remembered that Skype also has the ability to engage in video exchanges, too. It is very easy, and also free, to have a chat with someone and do it on camera so you can see and hear each other. 

He has an idea!

Wow...brainstorm...idea time!  Maybe some readers of this blog would like to connect with me or other readers in this way. Since most recent computers come with a built-in web cam and microphone the process is painless. For older computers, adding a $10 web cam and microphone is super simple. 

One of the neatest things about blogging is the opportunity to make new friends. Last August, Betty and I traveled to Portland, Oregon. We spent face time with Galen and Barbara Torris and her husband, Earl,  and became real friends, not just blogging buddies. In January we drove the two hours to Tucson to meet Linda Myers, author of another blog I read regularly, and her husband, Art. That also gave us a chance to reconnect with Barbara and Earl who spend the winter in southern Arizona.

This August we are going back to the Portland area to have more time with Galen and Barbara and Earl. In a totally serendipitous occurrence, Early Retirement Tamara and her hubby, Mike, will be in the area at the same time and want to meet for lunch. Then, comes word that Retired Syd and Doug might be in Portland. too. Finally, add to the mix that Linda and Art Myers may be driving down from Seattle to see us all and we have the makings of a blogging convention!

We may have the unique opportunity to make new friends in person with Tamara, Mike, Sydney and Doug, while strengthening our bonds with Galen, Barbara, Earl, Linda, and Art.

The connections I have made and will continue to make through blogging, are very gratifying. For a variety of reasons making new friends as we age is often difficult. I never expected blogging to be the vehicle to help Betty and me establish important friendships in other parts of the country, but it has.

In addition to the above folks, we hope to meet regular reader Pam in California when we are there in the fall, as well as Sonia Marsh. RJ Walters, the focus of a profile I wrote a month or so ago, is definitely on our radar when we get to the Midwest. Regular reader and commenter, Chuck in Tennessee, has invited us to his place when we are in the Smoky Mountain region.

Video Calls

All this leads me back to where I started: video calls. This may be an excellent way to expand relationships. So, I am wondering, would you ever want to hook up by camera and get to know each other better? Would you like the opportunity to ask me some questions about retirement, or just chat about our lives?

I am willing undergo an experiment to see if this fills a need and opens new doors. If you'd like to connect via a Skype video call, e-mail with your interest at this address: satisfyingretirement@gmail.com. We'll pick a day and time that works for both of us and see what happens.

If this seems to be fun and productive, there is a way to actually put together a conference call with several of us at the same time. Maybe we'd have a round table on when it is best to start Social Security, or what are we doing to plan for the time when we need help with daily tasks. Maybe something a little more fun: best RV parks we've been to or where to go on a summer vacation.

I don't know if video calls will work for a blog like Satisfying Retirement but when do I shy away from trying something new? I'll wait to see what the e-mail response is like. I may get none or I may be overwhelmed. Either scenario is fine; nothing ventured nothing gained. 

Remember, you must have Skype installed on the computer you will be using and have a decent high speed connection. It is free, totally secure, and takes about 5 minutes to set everything up. Click the name Skype to go directly to their web site. While you can pay for the ability to call land lines and cell phones, none of that is necessary for the video calls.

In some experimentation I have done, there is an occasional tendency for the Internet connection to be lost in the middle of a video chat. There are some issues with a newer version of the software that we may have to deal with.  In that case, we could continue by phone if there is more to say. But, that isn't a reason to not consider doing it.

In the meantime I'll have a comb and clean T-shirt handy to make myself presentable on short notice!

My Whole Self

Today I'm going to do something I rarely do: "borrow" freely from someone else's blog.  A few months ago one of my favorite retirement blogs closed down. Suzanne's  blog was hacked and Google had her shut it down. I know Suzanne missed the fun of blogging, but the experience left her gun shy for awhile.

Then in early April, she reappeared with a new effort, Life out Loud. Her first post set the stage for what she was going to do with her new creative outlet. Then, she promptly left the country for a month-long vacation. A few days ago she reappeared with a fresh post. I like her new focus so much I decided to share it here.

What Suzanne did was identify the individual parts of her whole self that she considers significant to to well-being. This is her list:

The Care And Keeping Of My Whole Self

Physical Self - Taking care of my body through regular exercise and a healthy diet

Spiritual Self - Spending time in contemplative thought, prayer, and expressing gratitude

Financial Self - Being mindful of the bottom line and practicing fiscal responsibility

Family Self - Responding to the needs of family and honoring my commitments

Creative Self - Experiencing joy through self-expression

Social Self - Maintaining healthy relationships with friends; enjoying social experiences

Community Self - Being socially responsible through volunteer efforts


To my way of thinking this is a a tremendous road map for a happy life and a satisfying retirement. As has been discussed on this blog many times, I find too many resources for retirement spend virtually all their time on the financial side. Certainly, that part is vitally important. But, the cliche, "money can't buy you happiness" can be extended to include..."or a satisfying retirement." The other areas of our development are every bit as important.

In my just released book, Living a Satisfying Retirement, nearly 50 people make it very clear that a happy transition is dependent on developing  every aspect of one's life. Without creativity and a way to fill one's time,  a strong family relationship or circle of friends, a sense of community, and taking care of your health, the best-laid financial plans will not produce what you desire.

i am glad Suzanne has begun blogging again and allows us to accompany her on her journey to care for her whole self.

Aspire to Retire: Simple Sizing

Late in 2011 I wrote a post about frugality and retirement. In re-reading it recently the message remains important. I am going to take some of it and add some fresh thoughts for this post.

I read the phrase, Simple Sizing, somewhere in the last few years and like it. Simplicity makes the process sounds as if we have all chosen complexity before. Downsizing can sound a little draconian and too much like what businesses due when it is time to shore up the bottom line. Frugality has a tinge of religious fervor that carries with it a feeling self-denial. But, whatever word we decide to use it is not unusual for some cutbacks to occur on the path to a satisfying retirement?

Simple sizing seems a good way to summarize what one is attempting to do: make our life easier by putting our possessions and wants in balance with our needs. I don't care how disciplined you may be, life has a way of adding clutter. If that weren't true the storage business wouldn't be booming. Our garages would actually be able to hold a car instead of our stuff. Do we really need a terabyte of hard drive storage? That is enough space for over 300,000 photos. OK, so maybe Betty will eventually fill one, but even so.....

There are folks who think of cutting back as being a smart steward of their money. A free movie from the library occasionally replaces the $10 ticket at the local cinema. Dinner out can be either the $5 foot long sub at Subway or a home cooked meal instead of the $30 restaurant experience. Do we really need a new wardrobe for summer?

For some others, the word takes on an almost religious tone. Spending more than is required to stay alive is to be avoided. Living space is cut to the bone. Almost all belongings are given away or sold, leaving a dresser drawer with a few changes of clothes. If possible, a car is replaced by public transportation or walking. Health insurance is dropped, in favor of self-medication and an occasional trip to the emergency room or free clinic.

This second interpretation is not what I think about when I think of simple sizing my retirement. I think of not being wasteful, not spending unnecessarily, of being economical and thrifty. How many people would not find those words something to strive for? The problem comes when each of us puts our own interpretation on those words. To somebody a 60" LED TV screen is a necessity. Buying a $60,000 car instead of the $75,000 version could be considered thrifty.

Simple sizing is in the eyes of the beholder. Living on $100,00 before retirement and $70,000 after is certainly more frugal. But, for many of us the numbers may be more like $50,000 before retirement and $25,000 after. So, how does a satisfying retirement work?

Making it work

There is no argument that it takes work and a commitment to reach the goal. It requires reassessing what you need to be happy and content. It demands that you prune those things that no longer fit within your budget. It pushes you to decide what are needs and what are wants.

Of course, a "need" for me could be a "want" for you. I need a high speed Internet connection to be able to blog. Since blogging is my passion and what occupies several hours of a typical day, cutting out the Internet connection isn't an option. I'd give up going out to any movies again if that was the trade off my budget demands.

For you maybe a "need" is a meal out at least once a week at a decent restaurant. Your volunteer work, or babysitting the grandkids, or part time work at the store leaves you drained by Friday. A meal out with your spouse, friends, or even alone, is something you look forward to. It is a reward to yourself for the week's efforts. That is a need for you and your budgeting decisions will reflect that.

Simple sizing may mean that you have to settle for a medical insurance policy that is designed to help you only if hit with huge bills after an emergency or major surgery. Regular doctor visits or drugs come out of your pocket. So, you do your research and find out the hospital and local Walgreens have regular free clinics for blood pressure checks or diabetes testing. Costco or Walmart will sell you a 90 day supply of the generic version of the expensive brand name prescription for $10.

Here are just a handful of examples of what simple sizing in retirement means to me:

• Spending time with my grandkids and family. Except for gas = free
• Watching a movie or documentary at home from either the library or Netflix. Cost is $17/month (less than one movie out for 2 people)
• Sitting on my back porch, reading and watching birds and clouds = free
• Cutting my cable TV bill from $90/month to $20
• Running errands only 2 days/ week. Saves approx. $70/month in gas
• Cutting meals out to just once every 10 days. Saves $160/month
• Not buying new books, only used ones or going to library. Saves $50/month
• Keeping a 10 year old car that squeaks and rattles for another few years.
• Clipping coupons and paying attention to sales on stuff we need thus cutting our monthly food budget by about $75.
• Only doing laundry and running dishwasher between 9 PM-9AM during the week (rates 66% lower).
• Buying an RV and making it our vacation vehicle for the next several years..a long delayed goal that has proven to be a tremendous addition to my retirement happiness and well-being.

That last example is important in this discussion of simpler living since an RV is not inexpensive to buy or operate. For Betty and me it gives us a freedom we have been seeking. It gave us a break from our routine, allows us to step away from daily commitments and stress, and allows us to add rich memories to our marriage. At that point, it had become a need. It is an investment in ourselves.

Balancing needs, wants, and resources during retirement do work together. It requires being flexible. It means you know yourself well enough to understand what you need and what you can adjust to being without. It shouldn't mean leading a bare-bones, sterile, hand-to-mouth existence at all. It is about re-balancing, or simple sizing what you have and how you will mold it into what you need.

Share with us your efforts to simple-size.

A Retired Life: A Summary In Six Words

A sermon from my pastor two Sundays ago caused me to think, not only of his Biblical message, but also how his points relate to a satisfying retirement. His message was based on the life of Paul and his conversion from a hater of Christians to the author of almost one-half of the New Testament. The pastor used two sets of three words to describe Paul's journey. 

Since thinking about blogging and post topics is an on-going process, I welcomed this burst of connectiveness. There are certainly three words that can be used to accurately describe my life before retirement, and my existence since.

Before Retirement:

* Angry - I work with men just before and after their release from prison. Usually, those guys have a lot of anger to deal with. Uncontrolled anger often was what landed them behind bars in the first place. I have seen, firsthand, what unresolved anger can do to someone's life.

In my case, I am not talking about that type of anger. During the last 15 years of my career I was angry at my feeling of being out of control. I was angry I was gone from home all the time. I was angry that clients wouldn't listen to my suggestions. I was angry that the house was never "perfect" when I returned home from a road trip.

* Ambitious - There came a point when I was rather well known in my profession. Within the narrow context of a certain type of music programming I was a national figure whose presence was sought as a speaker at conventions and group meetings. I helped write a study that changed the face of radio news. One of the major radio networks hired me to tell them how to improve. Radio stations would seek me out. I was receiving large sums of money to tell people what I thought.

With that type of adoration and financial support I was riding on a wave of hubris (a great word that doesn't get used enough!). I didn't take time to learn anything new about my industry. I was content to keep repeating the same message and following the same game plan year after year. Eventually, my ambition and pride would catch up with me in a big way and end my ride.

* Unfulfilled - Even with the travel, money, and fame I was not happy. I kept thinking that someone would discover I really had no idea what I was talking about. My life revolved around work...no, hold that, I had no life. I had a career and nothing else. There were no hobbies or interests that occupied my occasional off hours.

The family would take vacations in Hawaii or our condo in Florida, but I'd never relax because I was worried about everything under the sun. Through all this my incredible wife and two amazing daughters would stand with me and never tell me to my face I was out of control.


After Retirement:

* Calm - If you have been reading Satisfying Retirement blog for awhile you'd probably conclude I am rather happy with my lifestyle. I don't think my writing expresses much anger because I don't really feel any. My life has finally achieved some sense of balance. I have learned to keep my various activities, interests, and responsibilities in their proper place. It took me 50-some years to figure out that anger is destructive to a person, a relationship, and a future. Anger is all consuming and counter-productive. This is a work in progress, but there is progress.

* Content - Sure, there are moments when I worry a bit about our finances or our health. My daughters and grand kids and their future are never far from my thoughts. I don't have the type of financial resources I expected to have at this stage of my life. My lifestyle is simpler and less cluttered than I would have ever pictured for myself. I am happy with much less than I once was.

In a word, I am content..content with my place in society, my family, and my life. You know me well enough to know that doesn't mean static. Contentment doesn't mean an end to growth and struggle. It means an end to striving for unrealistic and undesirable goals.

* Fulfilled - I am fulfilled by the way my life has unfolded. I have a woman by my side who has given me almost 37 years of her life and means more to me than life itself. I have a family one only dreams of. I am doing what I want, how I want, and when I want. I believe I am loved by God. I have friends who I would walk over hot coals for. I even have a dog that loves me with the type of devotion only a canine can provide. In short, no matter what the future holds for me, I have a peace and sense of fulfillment that can never be taken away.

Retirement has been very, very good to me. I wish for you the same.

Note: good blogging buddy and friend, Galen Pearl, found some inspiration from this post. She blogged about it here: Transformations , and has challanged me to dig a bit deeper into why these changes occured in me.

I will do so.

Living a Satisfying Retirement Just Published!

I am proud to announce the publication of my newest book, Living a Satisfying Retirement. Now available on Amazon, this book is a follow up to Building a Satisfying Retirement, published two years ago.

Living a Satisfying Retirement is a project that took a small village (to steal a phrase from somewhere) to produce. Over 50 folks were gracious enough to fill out an extensive questionnaire during the summer of 2012 and allow me to reproduce their answers.

Both those already retired and those moving toward retirement participated. Each was asked questions about his or her plans, likelihood of moving, the effect on important relationships, what financial planning had taken place, and how a day without a job would be filled. To protect particpants' identities, I used fictitious names, but the answers you will read are just as they were submitted.

The answers were open and forthright. Frankly, after almost three years of blogging, I was pretty sure the answers wouldn't surprise me. I was wrong in several instances. The answers dealing with creativity, the range of interests and activities cited, and the effect of the last several years of a poor economy were not what I expected.

Is this new life what they expected? What good was all the planning they did ahead of time? What bumps (or giant sinkholes) may be waiting for them up ahead? What is their daily life like without a paycheck and a place to go every day?

How about those who haven’t retired yet? What are their biggest worries and uncertainties? What questions would they like to ask of someone who has been retired for a time? Another group completed a series of questions to help answer these questions and concerns.

A partial list of the questions asked include:

* How long have you been retired?
* Was it your choice to stop working? If so, why did you stop when you did?

* What do you miss the most about your old job or career?

* How much of your pre-retirement income are you living on?

* How much did you plan for what you wanted to do when you retired?
* What are your favorite parts of retirement?
* What are your least favorite parts?
* How do you fill your days? Are you ever bored or does your time fill up?
* What effect did retirement have on your important relationships?

For those not yet retired, some of the questions (and answers) include:

* How much longer do you expect to work before retiring?
* What are you most looking forward to when you retire?
* What are you most concerned about?

* Do you have hobbies and interests that you expect to spend time pursuing?
* What effect do you expect retirement will have on key relationships?
* Are you likely to move soon after retirement?

* What is the one question you’d like a retired person to answer for you?

Whether retired or planning for it, Living a Satisfying Retirement is written to give you a tool that is indispensable: advice from real people living the life you dream about.

The book is available in the Kindle format at Amazon. If you don't have a Kindle reader, Amazon provides free software for your computer or smart phone to allow you to benefit from the life experiences of these folks.

Priced at just $2.99, the sale of this book will help me keep this blog financially viable. I run very little advertising, so income from freelance writing and this book pays the bills. I hope you will consider a purchase today.

That being said, if you can't purchase the book at this time, I deeply appreciate your continued support for the Satisfying Retirement blog. I love being here for you and building a community of those who believe retirement is one of the best times of our lives.

To buy a copy now, click Living a Satisfying Retirement.

If you live outside the U.S. be sure to use the Amazon site for your country, like Amazon.ca  for Canada. The book is available for immediate download in virtually every country in the world.

Thank you!

Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

For me there are a few phrases that bring back strong memories of the 1960's and early 70's: "if it feels good, just do it,"  "sock it to me," and "Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll." This last one was meant to convey the free and open attitude embodied by the newly energized, British-led music invasion and the free-love, pot-smoking message conveyed by much of that music.

Haight-Ashbury, love-ins, the peace sign, The Vietnam War protests...the list is endless. As a rock and roll radio DJ of this era I was exposed to more than my fair share of this lifestyle. While my conservative friends of today might be surprised at this revelation, I was a product of the 60's, hanging out with recording artists, single, and tasting from the banquet of life.

Luckily, I woke up to the risks I was taking and stopped sometime around my mid 20's, about the time I met my wife-to-be. The thrills were gone and the lifestyle no longer satisfied me.

Flash forward almost forty years (oh my heavens...really?). The phrase sex, drugs, and rock n' roll has a somewhat different meaning to us today. A post from April, Sex: At Our Age? After Retirement?, took a look at the changes in attitudes and expectations of this rather important part of human relationships. Studies show that healthy adults can anticipate maintaining a sexual life into the 7th or even 8th decade of life. No longer a "test" of performance or virility, sex becomes just one part of an overall, mature, intimate relationship with another person. Usually it is no longer the main course, but part of a well balanced diet.

In the 60's and 70's drugs, not unlike sex, were for recreational purposes. Many of us were not immune to the allure of marijuana, hash, or even LSD. I must quickly add that I never tried, nor had any interest in LSD. But, unlike Bill Clinton, I did inhale the other substances. The most profound effects were sleepiness and the munchies. 

Today, drugs mean pills to help me sleep, battle allergies, or the stiffness that comes from arthritis. For my age (64 today!) I take fewer pills than many of my peers. I am more likely to down a handful of vitamins and minerals to keep what is functioning in working order.

Rock N' Roll used to be the central core of of my life. As a DJ I was exposed to music all day, everyday. Except when I was asleep, rock music was always playing. Four to six hours a day I'd be in a small radio studio, music blaring at full blast. At home a Jethro Tull or Beatles album would immediately be started upon my return to my apartment. Since my roommate was also a disc jockey, we were never not talking about or listening to the latest hits. Rock music paid my bills.

Today, rock n' roll is about memories. When I want to relax I will put on classical or solo piano music. Occasionally during a weekend of house cleaning, a Beatles, Beach Boys, or Chicago CD will be cranked up. The RV was stocked with dozens of CDs for the 3 week trip we just ended. But, music, in any form is no longer the constant companion it was. 

Once a week I do take part in a ham radio gathering of people who like to discuss 60's music and television shows. One fellow is near Washington, D.C., another in Omaha, still another in Indiana, and a handful from Tucson, Prescott, and Phoenix. We have a great time trying to answer rather obscure trivia questions. Because of my former profession I have an unfair advantage, so I usually answer last. It is fun and I continue to learn something new most weeks.

Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll: a simple phrase that captured much of what I remember about my early adulthood. Isn't it interesting that, with a very different interpretation, the same words continue to resonate today.

Today is my 64th birthday. My first Social Security check gets deposited in my account next month. I'm celebrating by getting a new smartphone. The old one has a crack across the screen when I dropped it on the bathroom floor. Not as fascinating as my life once was, but that's the way it is.