November 27, 2015

A New Find on A Saturday Afternoon

Ask me what I know about olive oil and I might say that she was Popeye's girlfriend. That, of course, would be correct. But, the more common response would be an oil that is now used regularly in the majority of households in this country, and an even higher percentage in many other parts of the world.

A reader's suggestion (thanks, Mona) from a few months ago gave Betty and me a new place to explore: The Queen Creek Olive Mill, about 40 minutes from our new home. A week or so ago we downloaded a map and set out. I got lost. Or, should I say Google Map isn't always completely accurate, particularly in a rural part of the Valley. Roads that it thinks are connected, aren't.

No matter. Eventually, we figured it out and found a beautiful little corner of our area. The Queen Creek Olive Oil is the only place in Arizona that produces Extra Virgin Olive Oil. A market on site sells more types and blends of olive oil and vinegar than I knew existed. A coffee shop and fresh food restaurant are attached. On the other side of a stand of olive trees sits small stage where musicians perform on weekends. A combination grill and bar are also among the trees. serving cold beer and hot burgers. The day we were there a local vineyard had samples of Arizona wine available for tasting and purchase.

Enjoying a mid 70's, mid November day, we had a cheese board loaded with, you guessed it, olives and cheeses, roasted red peppers, honey, and crusty bread. A panini sandwich and prickly pear lemonade completed a perfect lunch while we listened to the music and watched a large Saturday crowd enjoy the setting.

Betty found a small Christmas ornament carved from an olive tree while I snapped some pictures. After an hour or so we headed back home, satisfied that our Saturday afternoon had been well spent.

To top off the day we went to dinner at an excellent Mexican restaurant in Old Town Gilbert. As we finished the meal, who comes around the corner but our grandkids with mom and dad in tow. The group spots us and rushes in for hugs and conversation.

A perfect end to a great day.

November 25, 2015

Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It is four days of family, food, relaxation, and no gift-giving pressure. I refuse to participate in the insanity of Black Friday. In fact, unless it is to visit family I make it a point to not leave the house. 

My life is blessed. I know that and I thank God everyday for it. I also know it could be taken away from me, or someone I love, in an instant so I take no precious moments for granted. It is truly a satisfying journey through a retirement life.

I wish for you and your family a happy, joyous, and peaceful Thanksgiving weekend. Whatever your circumstances you have something to be thankful for. Dwell on that for awhile.

If you have a special Thanksgiving memory, or someone you want to wish an extra-special weekend, here's your chance!

November 21, 2015

Is Leaving a Legacy Under Our Control?

What is a legacy? Most dictionaries define it as a gift of money or property for someone after you die. The second way to think of a legacy is something that has been achieved that continues to exist after someone's death. That is the form of legacy I'd like to explore as you move through your satisfying journey.

It would be a very rare person who doesn't want to be remembered after he or she is gone. As we age we understand how short life really is and that there are few opportunities for do-overs.

I have one life. What am I making of it? How would I like to be remembered?  Do I know what I would like to leave behind for others? These are questions that all humans ask themselves at some point. We have a very basic need to believe we have made a difference. A legacy is just that: something that can be pointed to that confirms you were here and you mattered. A satisfying retirement is great, but a strong legacy is something really worth striving for.

There are two basic types of legacies. The first involves tangible accomplishments. If you are an artist that's easy. Your paintings, sculptures or photographs will hang on a museum wall or grace people's homes for years into the future. If you are a singer, actor, or writer you will live on in your music, performances, or words.

Maybe your financial status is such that you can create an on-going scholarship at a favorite school or an endowment at the university you attended. You might be able to donate enough money to help fund on-going research into a serious disease. Maybe you established a volunteer organization that continues to help people for years into the future.

For someone who is handy with tools, maybe you built a vacation cabin in the woods, or a canoe that cuts gracefully through the water. Your family and relatives can enjoy what you made and think of you whenever they do.

The second type of legacy is the intangible kind. You have instilled a set of moral and ethical values in your children. You have treated loved ones and friends in such a way that when people remember you those memories are full of joy and fondness.

You have demonstrated through your life the importance of giving back to others, of leaving your little corner of the world just a bit better for you having been here. You have modeled a life worth living and are remembered by your actions, big and small, your beliefs, and your steadfastness. Years after you are gone, someone will mention your name and there will be a smile, or a fond memory, or a confirmation of how you spent your life's time. Maybe there will be the ultimate compliment when someone declares he would like to be like you were.

While both types of legacies have tremendous value, I think most of us have a better shot at creating a life worth remembering when we focus on the intangible characteristics. The good news: it is not too late to start. The bad news: too many of us never start.

The goal of a legacy can't be selfish. If so, it probably won't be very long-lasting. Even the person who donates $5 million to establish a scholarship fund is doing it because she believes her money can benefit more people if she uses it in this way. Will her name be associated with something good? Sure. But, that is not the primary motivator.

If you are remembered for teaching your children how to be responsible, caring, loving parents to their kids your legacy is worthwhile. If you instill a sense of civic responsibility in a child who goes on to help others for the rest of his or her life, you have created a legacy that is worthwhile.

Maybe your legacy is the guy who always smiled, who was always there to help someone when he was down, who loved others unconditionally. Maybe you were  the first to volunteer whenever your church needed help. You couldn't take off 2 years to join the Peace Corps so you always helped restock the food bank at an inner-city school. You were confined to a wheelchair after an accident. But, instead of being bitter and withdrawn you remained positive and upbeat. You affirmed that there were others in much worse shape than you.

All of us will be remembered for something. How would you like to be remembered for what you do while on this earth? How would you want your memory to affect others? Most of the answers are within your control. A legacy is built on beliefs and attitudes that are translated into actions. Turn whatever time you have left into a long-lasting legacy. Start today.

November 17, 2015

Update: So, You're Retired: What Do You Do All Day?

A post I wrote a little over five years ago remains the most-read one on this blog. In that time, almost 36,000 folks have clicked the link to take a peak inside the life of a retiree. Fresh comments are still left on a regular basis by someone who just discovered that post and wants to be part of the discussion. I love to see that; it means what has been written is still relevant.

So, You're Retired: What Do You Do All Day was written just a few months after I starting blogging. If I wrote that post today it would be quite different. In the five years that have slipped by I have changed my attitudes and understanding of a satisfying retirement. I have a better understanding of what leaves me feeling fulfilled. I have a much clearer picture of what is meaningful.  I have a better handle on the concerns that have turned out to be not important or worth the worry.

The path to my satisfying journey is available in previous posts available in the archives. I invite you to take some time to see if anything resonates with you and your needs. And, I do encourage you to email me if you have a specific concern or problem that you'd like my thoughts on. 

What I'd like to do with this "reboot" version is to take a quick sample at what the last few years of some national studies and authors have written about retirees and their use of time. Then, I ask you to comment on how well what has been described matches your day. I will bet there will be some very interesting and important differences!

One nationally respected source lists these three top "activities:"

  • Reading
  • Resting
  • Watching TV
A little farther down the list are:
  • Sleep
  • Shopping
  • Chores
  • Volunteer work
What seems to be missing are some rather important activities for retirees. Even though the number one concern of the vast majority of us is the state of our health, this list does not indicate that physical exercise or staying active is even in the top ten. Finding an activity or hobby to become passionate about is also missing. Spiritual development is something that many retired folks find is much more important in their lives; it isn't noted.

Another author was a bit more thorough. Financial concerns and management take up parts of a typical day. Working on relationships may not seem like it needs to be on a list of what retirees do during the day, but the author (and I) would certainly suggest it is vital. Nothing can make a 24 hour day a miserable experience than being with another person, all day, every day, and being unhappy or argumentative.

One writer used a phrase I understand, but I have a problem with because he is probably right more often than not: "Retirement takes place at the margins." He is implying that a typical retired person lives a life not that different from his or her working years, except in some of the spare time that now exists. Watching TV, eating, sleeping, doing household chores, shopping......a day after retirement looks like a day before.

Certainly, there are basic activities and duties we all must perform regardless of our employment status. I do agree that there are a lot of retired folks who fill their time with just more of the same. But, the comments left on hundreds of blog posts over the last 5+years, the research I conducted for my last book, my relationship with other retirees, and my personal experience tells me that a retirement that "takes place on the margins" is a wasted retirement. 

If the only way to tell if someone is retired is the the lack of regular paychecks or a daily commute, then that is a sad. For many of us, retirement will last almost as long as the years spent employed. If we are careful to watch our money we are not likely to "run out." If we take care of our bodies and minds by staying active and engaged, we will have productive decades ahead of us.

If we find a passion, nourish our relationships, give some part of ourselves to others, and understand that there is something greater than us watching over us, a satisfying journey through retirement is not only possible, but likely. 

Each day is a day full of possibilities and promise. What do you do with that time?